Column Chronicles: Nick Cretin, P.I.E.: A new partner

Nick Cretin, P.I.E.: A new partner

Frank Cotolo
September 2, 2021

Nick Cretin, P.I.E. (Private Investigator Extraordinaire) needed a rest after solving a long, drawn out case that started out simply but turned an ugly corner to become intense and complex.

He sat back in his office and thought to call his friend Irving Went, T.A.E. (Travel Agent Extraordinare) for suggestions.

"Irv," Nick said, "where's a good place to vacation?"

"This isn't Irv. This is Buster, his partner," said Buster, Irv's partner.

"Oh, I did not know he had a partner. Is Irv there?" Nick said.

"He never told you that I bought into the business? Or that the business has profited by a great percentage since I came here?"

"No. I would have remembered if he told me he had a partner and that the business has profited by a great percentage since you came there, Buster."

"And yet, separated by two sentences of conversation, you remembered by name is Buster."

"Yes I did. Buster Thernby, right?"

"How could you recall my first name and think you remembered by last name when I didn't tell you my last name?"

"Is it Thernby?"

"No. No it's not."

"I thought you said you are his partner, Busby Thernby."

"Not Busby, Buster. Now you forgot the first name and you just remembered it."

"Look, Is Irv there?"

"You don’t think I could help you? Me? The new partner that makes the business profit by a great percentage."

"I guess you would be able to help me."

"You guess? An educated guess? A lucky guess? Or a guess because I told you I made the business profit by a great percentage?"

"All right, so tell me, do you have any ideas about a good vacation spot?"

"Plenty. You like Denmark?"

"Never been there."

"We can book you in Aarhus, Aalborg, Esberg, Helsingor, Vejle, Fredriksberg, Frederikshawn, Herning, Haderslev, Holstebro, Horsholm..."

Nick interrupted and said, "any that begin with S?"

"Sure," Buster said. "Slageise, Soro, Stenlose, Skive..."

Nick put the phone on his desk, got up, put on his jacket, grabbed his keys, walked out of the office, locked the office from the outside and walked down the stairs to the street level.

Buster continued. He said, "That's it for S, how about the Rs? Randers, Roskilde, Ribe..."

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.