Column Chronicles: Membrane the Drone - Frank Cotolo on 148.ca

Membrane the Drone

Frank Cotolo
January 6, 2022

It is truly difficult in these dark days of mankind to find stories about human inspiration and human sensitivity. Then, amid the foul atmosphere of doom, along comes the story of Little Ernie Sumperbath ("Little" is his legal first name). He is a youngster of 11 who, unfortunately, is mentally challenged in math, science, geography, biology, social studies, gym and even recess. Still, his outlook on life is positive, even though his teachers say his future is negative.

At the end of last year, Little Ernie was given a present by neighbours. They told Little that is was his birthday and handed him a big box with a bow on it. Before he could choke on the bow, the neighbours opened the box. Inside was a drone.

"I'll call it Membrane the Drone," Little said.

"It's a pet," said one neighbour. "We knew it was dangerous if we gave you anything alive, so we found you something you could break that would not howl in pain."

A neighbour set the drone up, gave Little the remote and showed him the two buttons that would get it to fly. Then the neighbours went home.

For reasons unknown, Little learned to use the drone as if he was not mentally challenged in math, science, geography, biology, social studies, gym and even recess. No one could understand but Little turned Membrane the Drone into a vehicle that saved people in health emergencies.

"Fred Freck had a heart attack in front of the bakery," said the town's doctor, Henry. "He'da been dead if Membrane didn't find him and get his heart beating good again."

"Membrane the Drone saved my little girl Tiponia," said a neighbour. "She was choking on a lollypop stick when suddenly Membrane flew to her and gave her the hium-lick squeeze and she coughed up the stick."

Little Ernie Sumperbath told reporters he just fixed it so that it would fly to people "who something bad happened to and were gonna die," but he did not remember how he did it. Everyone in the town agrees, though, that it does not matter how Little got Membrane the Drone to be a vehicle that saves people in health emergencies, because it helps people to live and not die. And in these dark days of mankind, any way someone or something can help keep people alive is a good thing.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.