Column Chronicles: The truth about Goliath

The truth about Goliath

Frank Cotolo
February 17, 2022

Many times, because of the great passage of time, history does not accurately present facts and not accurately presenting facts are, in fact, lies.

Recently, a string of archeological findings reveal something common about people history claims were huge men, big guys, historically referred to as giants. Take the tale of David and Goliath. In the Bible, Goliath, a giant, which in Biblical terms means "really very big guy," got into a fight with David, a poor kid with a slingshot, and although Goliath was many times larger than David, the scrawny kid shot a rock into Goliath's head and killed him.

Cyrus Kickstart, professor of archaeology and Biblical Facts and Fiction, says, "An excavation in the area of the Goliath attack confirms David used a slingshot. However, it also confirms Goliath was shorter than David, based upon the sandal size of the man thought to be the giant Goliath. And that sandal size is a five."

Referring to BB Smithy's 1967 research paper - Biblical Footwear - sizes were measured differently in those days. A five would be equal to a seven today and that is the shoe of a short fellow.

"Shoe size in those days is like shoe size in these days," says Kickstart. "A foot size is proportional to a person's height, so Goliath was shorter than David, whose shoe size, according to the Bible, was 12."

The implications belittle the tale of David defeating a giant. It was thought to be a Biblical lesson on mind over muscle. Now, it does not look so good that David turns out to be the bigger of the two.

"When I read the news, I changed my name," says professional wrestler Gigolo Goliath. He now calls himself Destroyer Dave.

"I understand the use of poetic license," Kickstart says, "but we have to deal with the truth about history, especially since these excavations in dangerous parts of the world are costing a mint. Besides, we would have found out sooner or later, especially since two years back we dug up evidence that there was no giant in Jack's beanstalk story."

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.