Column Chronicles: Asteroid contents shock scientists

Asteroid contents shock scientists

Frank Cotolo
March 31, 2022

Rarely are scientists astounded while studying the eternal, if not endless, outer space, but a few are still shocked about something recently discovered.

The Hippy-Enormous-Aerospace-Probe (HEAP) recently returned to Earth with samples of what it gathered while wandering in the atmosphere of the Syonarra asteroid (misspelled after the 1957 Oscar-winning movie 'Sayonara').

"HEAP has a lot of room for data," said one scientist, "but it had a hard landing and wondered why. Data, after all, is not heavy."

Biff Branmuffin, a former astronaut working on the HEAP project said, "I damn near wet my pants when the probe inspection team opened the hatch and there was sand."

What was so odd about sand from an asteroid that would shock scientists?

"Nothing about just sand, but in the shape of a castle?" said Biff.

A perfectly build sand castle baffled the HEAP project members for a few reasons. First, who built it? Second, how did it get into the probe in one piece? Third, why didn't the castle have a drawbridge?

"Forget about the shape for a moment," said HEAP scientist Robert Realty, "how can the sand castle help shed light on the origins of this solar system?"

Indeed, questions of the origins of our universe have scientists losing sleep anyway, "but what could a sand castle have to do with it?" said Realty.

Theories abound. B.O. Delbook, outer space researcher said, "I'm sure the lack of a drawbridge is the main clue. Whomsoever built the sand castle lacked the fact castles must have a drawbridge. Even replicas of sand castles, though they can not have operative drawbridges by the very nature of the source substance, would indicate the essential element of any castle when attempting great detail. I mean, really."

"Everything we calculated with the data we previously collected on probes," said Warren Bucket, HEAP project manager, "is now meaningless when it comes to shedding light on the origins of this solar system."

Mankind can only hope to find the answer before it is too late.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.