Column Chronicles: How to recognize a true friend

How to recognize a true friend

Frank Cotolo
May 26, 2022

You must know that having a true friend improves your life. Just how to be sure you have a true friend is not easy, since most people would rather siphon your gas tank than be a true friend. How then can you trust that you have a true friend? Ask the following questions to anyone you feel might be a friend. It's foolproof.

Are you a team player? Are you willing to stop being selfish and work for the good of a friend? If I buy us uniforms, will you wear yours whenever you are with me?

If I happen to do something bad to your pet or your motorcycle, will you forgive me and absorb whatever payments may be involved? If you are going to hold a grudge and value your pet or your motorcycle over our friendship, then you go get another friend.

Will you stay in touch? Do I have to call you every time we have to do friend stuff? You need to be assertive, take a few steps to show you are interested in our friendship by being a part of it.

A friend of mine is trustworthy. He or she or they will hold on to my wallet if I ask and he or she or they won't memorize my Social Security number to get into my savings account or sue me. Without trust who would I give my wallet to if I could not hold onto it for some reason, a reason a trustworthy friend does not have to know.

Are you ready to stop taking everything so damned seriously? Do you have a sense of humor that I can appreciate? I mean really; can we make fun of the same things together and laugh, so that we can smile about the same things?

Can you stay clean and not smell awful? A friend cares that his, her or their bodies are not offensive to the other's sense of smell. If I wanted a friend that smelled, I would be asking these questions - except for this one - to a garbage can filled with odorous refuge. Friends clean up for one another - they do not clean one another. Cleaning yourself so that you do not carry a stench is something I should never have to tell a true friend.

That's about it, that's about what is required to be sure you have a true friend. Remember, no one else is of any good to you.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.