Column Chronicles: Last-resort occupations

Last-resort occupations

Frank Cotolo
June 9, 2022

If you've exhausted getting all of the jobs you are qualified to have in order to make a living, you might want to look into getting a job that you do not know how to perform - one you can fake well. Here are some strange jobs to consider and some tips on how to fake them well enough to make a living doing them.

SHARK DENTIST

Sharks are used for many scientific experiments and are often awake when studied, thus putting researchers in jeopardy of being bitten. A shark dentist extracts the teeth of a shark before scientists perform experiments.

FOOD STYLISTS

This is a cinch. Just place little pieces of food and some garnish around a main dish, call it a unique style and restaurants will pay you to do it for items on their menu. You don't have to know squat about food, just how it looks when served.

MOURNER

Get paid to attend wakes and funerals to pretend you are a mourner. Some survivors of recently deceased people need to spike the attendance of a funeral for personal reasons (never ask why, just show up), so they hire people to stand around and weep.

ANIMAL FOOD TASTER

Special food products for animals need a human critic, so you could taste new foods created for animals and give your opinion. You will never be accused of being wrong about how they taste.

TENT INSPECTOR

Manufacturers of outdoor tents hire people to use their product to judge if it was designed to withstand adverse conditions. It's good pay to have an adventurous night in the wilderness, where the tent must withstand raging fire, collision with a large moving object and a barrage of crossbow arrows, to name a few conditions.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.