Column Chronicles: A new spin on Earth's rotation

A new spin on Earth's rotation

Frank Cotolo
June 30, 2022

You may have noticed recently that the days are one point four-six-zero-zero and so on shorter than ever. I know I did, though my estimation was off by a few decimal points. Close enough, it means that the Earth is spinning faster than ever.

"Using advanced mathematics," said Professor Riley Troublehorn of the National Space Lab, "and custom but powerful computers, we calculated the advanced speed."

"I noticed the short day first," said Professor Ingmar Rattle. "It was just a feeling in my gut and I knew it was not the liverwurst I had for lunch. I told Riley and he said he thought something was weird about the day, and he did not have liverwurst."

The scientists stayed late that night to find out if they were correct, using advanced mathematics that are calculated on custom computers. Riley cleared the cache on his custom but powerful computer and began to calculate.

"I knew that if we were correct we’d be finding something that took hundreds of years to happen," said Riley after he rebooted his hard drive.

Ingmar did his own calculations using advanced mathematics and his small but powerful custom computer. "I call my computer Jerkuleeze. Like it rhymes with Hercules but is spelled phonetically."

"I knew we did not have to find out quickly," said Riley, "because it would take mores hundreds of years for the numbers to change again."

Sometimes, according to Riley and Ingmar, their small but powerful custom computers crash and they have to do what they were doing all over again. Ingmar said that the Atomic Clock they have at the lab is precise to the umpteenth decimal point. "But if we don't change the double A batteries that run it, it runs slower. That screws things up, especially when you are trying to find out of the Earth is spinning faster."

Riley and Ingmar worked all night and were satisfied by morning that the advanced mathematics they used on their small but powerful custom computers (including the one called Jerkuleeze) assured them that Ingmar's feeling was correct. The Earth is spinning faster than ever.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.