Column Chronicles: Another Larry King-like column

Another Larry King-like column

Frank Cotolo
August 11, 2022

As I continue attempting to convince struggling newspapers that a Larry King-like column, filled only with his brief and timely thoughts, could still be popular, I offer another King-like columns that informs, entertains and honors Mr. King's journalistic jingo.

How come meteorologists don't study meteors?

Maybe professional baseball should hold the World Series in a neutral city, kind of like the Super Bowl never has a home team. Could make it all more interesting.

It's true. You can't stop a rooster from crowing once the sun is up. Or during a cock fight.

Why doesn't someone make digital Popeye cartoons?

I miss county fairs. Where else can you see a man play a trumpet with his nostril?

Sometimes I wonder why Zero Mostel didn't name his first child One Mostel and his second child Two Mostel and so on.

Are people with Arachnophobia comfortable watching Spiderman movies?

Frank Sinatra told me that if it weren't for growing up in New Jersey he would never have known about the legend of Bigfoot. I only agreed with him because I did not want to look stupid.

Say what you will about breakfast cereals but I'm sticking with oatmeal and cream of wheat to stay regular.

Kids today are smarter than ever, but I am yet to meet one that can name three actors that played Zorro.

There was a time when you could buy bicycles built for two.

I'm afraid I cannot support a soccer league for senior citizens. It's just not right.

If a person says "pizza pie" in English, that person is actually saying pie pie, because pizza is Italian for pie.

Who drinks Tang for breakfast anymore? I think that group is called nobody.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.