Column Chronicles: Sequels that sank because they stank, part one

Sequels that sank because they stank, part one

Frank Cotolo
September 8, 2022

Not every good movie, not even every great movie, needs a sequel. The problem with Hollywood (one, at least), is most sequels are not loyal to the integrity of the original; they exist in name only, so they are crap.

Here are a couple of sequels of money-making movies that were scripted (sometimes more than thrice) but never saw the lighting of a set.

FORREST GUMP: SON OF A GUMP

"What's your name?" said a character.

"Junior," said the twenty-year old man, "Junior Forrest Gump. You see, Forrest Gump was my father and everyone called him Forrest Gump."

Forrest and Jenny's only child is grown up and his DNA is much like that of his dead father. We learn next in the script about the death of Forrest Sr. Compared to the luck his lifestyle employed, his demise was nothing but dumb.

"My father, Forrest Gump," says Junior, "shot an arrow in the air. It fell to earth right about there,” and he points to the top of his head."

Junior is single and wants to have a family of his own. His boss at the cardboard factory where he works, tells him, "If you want to start a family you have to find a wife."

Junior takes him literally and finds the wife of a neighbour who mentions she wants to have another child. Junior asks her if she wants to start a family with him. Her husband overhears it and beats Junior to a pulp.

While in the hospital, Junior shares a room with a young man who suffered an accident trying to come up with an idea for an internet company. Junior speculates that someone should go to the jungle in South America and figure out how tribes use mail order.

"What jungle in South America?" the patient says.

"I think it’s in what they call the Amazon," says Junior.

Later in the movie, that man in the hospital is a billionaire and he meets Junior boxing items at the man's mail order conglomerate.

"You're the guy who gave me this idea," the man says.

"Happy to help mister whatever is your name."

The man says goodbye and leaves and the story gets worse from there, causing the termination of the Forrest Gump sequel.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.