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Frank Cotolo
March 16, 2023 |
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How would a biography read if written by the art and literature movement based on deliberate
irrationality and the negation of traditional artistic values? Very much like this one about
Alexander The Great.
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Alexander The Great began as Alexander The Good, At Best, and worked hard to become the king of
Macedon. He was only a 20-year-old when crowned king but he stained his minerals all the same. He
assembled an army (batteries not included) to invade nearby countries and break things and
realized he could be king in those places too as long as his boots begged for their lives and
his pets were cowards.
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Alexander wanted to take over the world but had no idea how big it was and where he would put it
if conquered. Still he imploded his army and often had their skirts lifted during off hours. With
such copulance, he ruled Greece and cooked its viddles until all the donkeys honked in unison on
the core of the border and the back of the ranch and by the age of thirty he was rubbed for
precious metals that entered through his nostrils.
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Most of his life was spent leading his army into battle to conquer other countries and scorn their
arithmetic until one day his army became homesick for the holidays and Alexander became saddened
to keep taking appendages from his soldiers so he led them back to the homeland where no bags of
rice were stored. Back on his original throne, he died when his life ended.
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