Column Chronicles: Nick Cretin P.I.E.; The notebook, part 2

Nick Cretin P.I.E.: The notebook, part 2

Frank Cotolo
July 20, 2023

Minnie showed Nick ten pages of Walkjab's references to gold coins in the notebook.

Nick said, "Those pages weren't there when I read through it."

Minnie knew he was lying but loved Nick so much she didn't call him a lying piece of worthless flesh because he was her piece of worthless flesh, lying or not.

"It says here," Nick said, "that there're a hundred coins..."

"And he hid each one in a different spot," said Minnie.

"I can read," said Nick.

"That's a hundred different places," Minnie said.

"I can do math," Nick said.

Nick went back to sleep. Minnie read more of the notebook and saw a map. She woke Nick up and showed him the map.

Minnie said, "Bet you there's a coin buried in each spot."

"You might be on to something," Nick said. "You'll have to start digging to prove it. Let's go to the first spot."

At the first spot Minnie said, "I'm tired of digging."

"Too late now. All the shovel stores are closed."

"Let's start again tomorrow."

"I've a better idea."

Nick drove Minnie to her apartment and told her to stay there until he came back. Then he went to where Itchy hanged out.

"You were right about Walkjab's notebook," Nick said. "If you dig holes in the spots on the map in the notebook you'll find a gold coin or two or three or more in each."

Itchy said, "Yoo karp," (thank you) and gave Nick his fee. Nick went back to Minnie's apartment and told her he had money to pay her to come back to work but now that he solved the notebook case he had no work for her. Minnie sobbed.

"Sorry, baby," Nick said, "but I'm a hard-core dick, a P.I.E. with a stone heart, sandpaper skin and two club feet. Crying like a just-turned-eighteen girl madly in love ain't going to make me stay here with you all night."

Minnie took off her robe and Nick said he'd make an exception and stay with her all night, and he did.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.