Column Chronicles: The Debunker; a small step

The Debunker: a small step

Frank Cotolo
October 12, 2023

I am The Debunker. You come to me and tell me the moon is made of cheese and I tell you that ain't so. And that's that. Because I know what is rumor, heresay, buzz and myth. I cannot be fooled.

So, one day, Molly O'Dolly comes into my office. She is depressed and I ask her why. "For one," she says, "we're beginning this conversation in the present tense."

"I can't debunk that," I say and suggest I tell the story as I told it and not as I tell it. She agreed.

"Someone told me," she said, "that all of the U.S. presidents that died by assassination were killed by the same person, that this one guy changed his identity through the years."

I never laughed at people telling me scuttlebutt but this one was hard to hear without smiling. I said, "You're too smart to believe that. So Molly, I know that is not why you depressed. Why did you come here, then?"

"My husband, Mr. O'Dolly, left me."

"That is depressing. Unless you wanted him to leave."

"I did but it's still depressed me because he thought Earth was flat and called me naughty things because I happen to know it's round."

"Understood. But what can I, The Debunker, do for you?"

"Go to him and tell him the Earth is round. He may believe you and apologize to me and come back home where we have a pile of bills he needs to pay."

I thought to myself: Mr. O'Dolly won't believe me but I would try because Molly was a sweet woman who once did not believe in Cesarean births until I proved they existed. She had an open mind that led to the flat Earth argument with her husband. I told her I would do it.

Mr. O'Dolly was at a rally to protest fake U.S. moon landings. I told him he was making a mistake leaving his wife, even if the Earth was flat, because chances were few either of them would fall off the edge. He began to cry because he realized he loved her even if the Earth was the shape of a trapezoid.

He said, "Wait, could it be?" I said it was not and he believed that and went back to his wife. It was the best I, The Debunker, could do; it was a small step towards his rehabilitation.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.