Column Chronicles: Nostradamus, Jr. predictions

Nostradamus, Jr. predictions

Frank Cotolo
June 6, 2024

He is a son of a son of a son, et cetera of the French reputed seer. We are fortunate to have him make predictions for 2024.

Artificial Intelligence will announce it will begin using TicketMaster for personal appearances.

Many new medicines will appear on supermarket shelves disguised as breakfast cereals.

Scientists will take a photo of a galaxy fifty gazillion light years away but it will be abstructed by a thumb left on the lens when it was taken.

Amazon will open an amusement park for the bald and homeless.

Two, maybe three, tops five ordinary people living in India will break a record for chewing rubber bands on a Ferris Wheel.

Two Popes are strangely elected at once and must fight for the title in Vatican City in a pay-for-view broadcast.

Seven months of great war affect people living in the general area of the conflict which includes a country that sounds like Jyna, another that sounds like Mouth-Am-Erica and a third that sounds like Lindya. I do not know who wins. Nor do I care.

It looks like the year coming up will find a cure for nausea.

Most children in the world under the age of thirteen will fall in love with Turkish Taffy. The delightful candy makes a resurgance except in Palestine.

Alas, the blood of the just will commit a fault, somewhat minor, somewhat futile but a fault nonetheless, and it will arrive through lightning that awakens many and is accompanied by thunder louder than a Megadeath concert and the just will not admit it was they whom just did it and will blame the unjust whom sleep with baby bears on their jammies and fail to honor those whom and you know what? I'm kind of lost on this one.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.