Column Chronicles
 
Travels of Ziggy Armathol
 
 
Frank Cotolo
July 4, 2024
 
It's me, Ziggy Armathol, world traveler. Yes, the world. I have been all over it. I write about random remembrances in some of those places.
 
When I stepped foot in Batman, Turkey, I was smiling. Until, that is, a man in a black cowl and cape reached for my suitcase and hit me in the knees with a rotten corn cob. Then he disappeared.
 
Tasmania has beautiful shores. I fell in love with Esmerelda on Eggs And Bacon Bay thanks to the sunset. By morning we were arm wrestling and she broke one of my knuckles. Love is strange.
 
Westward Ho! in England. It's a place named after a book. There are many other places named after books. Places like The Postman Always Rings Twice, Palestine; True Grit, Montana; Robinson Caruso On Mars, Spain; The Razor's Edge, India. I intend to visit all of them before I die.
 
It was nothing like I imagined in the Disappointment Islands, French Polynesia.
 
Spiders Rib, Wyoming, was the hottest place I've ever been. Rattlesnakes literally caught fire if they stayed on the surface too long. And that was at night.
 
There is a strange thing about Wistle Lake, Reno. The mayor's mansion is surrounded by scarecrows. I counted four hundred and I swear I saw ten doing the mambo.
 
The only way to get around in Nambo, Nigeria is on bike. Not just any bike. A unicycle.
 
Every New Year's Eve, Whamba Weelow, Oklahoma residents insist tourists empty their pockets on Main Street and pick them up with their mouths at midnight.
 
Covered Bridge, France, has a great place to eat. One great place. The rest serve dirt pockets and hornet-nest soups.
 
I was married once. It happened in Bolderdash, New Guinea. She was my wife for ten hours and then she left me a note: "I am leaving you because you refused to play the banjo."
 
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.
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