Column Chronicles: A quandry for Nick Cretin P.I.E.

A quandry for Nick Cretin P.I.E.

Frank Cotolo
July 25, 2024

Nick Cretin, P.I.E. (Private Investigator Extraordinaire) had a quandry. It was important that he rid his life of it and hoped his friend Eldorado would help.

"I dunno, Nick," Eldorado said, "I only have tools to separate a paradox. Go see Reppy."

Nick went to see Reppy and Reppy said, "That's something you should fix yourself. It's dangerous for anyone else to interfere with another person's quandry. Someone could be killed."

Still in a quandry, Nick took Beatrice to dinner. He told her of his quandry and Beatrice began to sweat and shake so much she had to leave. She also left the check for Nick. The waiter said he overheard Nick telling Beatrice about a quandry and offered help.

"The problem is a quandry," he said, "can become a conundrum. That means at its root there's a paradox, which is ten times worse than a dichotomy. See what I mean?"

"Yeah," Nick said. "I see that now. No wonder Beatrice left."

"You must get out of here and fast. Don't worry about the check, I'll mail it to you."

Nick stormed out of the restaurant and headed for the dark edge of town where juxtaposition was normal and lost souls wandered in jarring dispositions. Someone grabbed him from behind and threatened him with a cognative process. Nick turned quickly and disarmed a man with many inclinations.

"What do you want?" Nick said.

"I need to free myself of this quandry," the man said while crying. "It's driving me mad I tell you. Help me."

Nick felt pity. He knew at that moment it was true that a quandry could get someone killed. But who? And then Nick realized his quandry had become a conundrum. The man ran away and Nick knew he must stay in the dark edge of town for as long as it took for his quandry to disappear. Yes, he understood. The waiter was a metaphor.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.