Column Chronicles: The emperors' last words

The emperors' last words

Frank Cotolo
August 1, 2024

Through mankind's history there have been emperors of nations whose lives have ended in murder. Regardless of the reasons, most of them attributed to political hate, the person at the top was dethrowned in a pool of blood. Even so, out of some remnance of respect his murderers always wrote down his last words. Here is a list of some...

Aurelias Cornopious
What's that prick into my side? It presents blood. It's not a prick at all, it's a stab, a deadly one, too. And the prick is really you, Cassius.

Tiberius Claudius
Cast not that blade upon me unless you intend to use it. Let me rephrase that...

Servius Galba
There should not be four of my senators surrounding me with such fowl breath.

Didactcus Valius
I would say the end of my first day at emperor went well. What say you, faithful followers? What?

Hayden Augustus
And so it goes, the greatest man of the greatest empire surrenders his life to the wicked, the power mongers, the disrupters of the republic which served them with honor, never to imagine such vile actions could change the course of history. How long does this poison take to kick in?

Verus Iradicus
My plans for a spring of ceremonial play have been interupted by, of all things, an arrow suddenly unsettling the use of my heart. Oye vay.

Didius Dividicus
Oh no.

Macrinonius Crasilla
Where are my sons when I need them to fight with me against my foes. Ah ha, my foes are my sons. Whatever did I do wrong raising them?

Caesar Saladius
Oh sweet wife, this is sadly expected. Now that your blade is deep in my chest I understand what your scorn is far more serious than it sounded when you did not have a blade.

Elagabulus Diametrica
Run for your lives! There are assassins in the kingdom. Run, run. Here, watch me, run like this only faster...

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.