Column Chronicles: New pop-music movement ignored rules and purposes, part two

New pop-music movement ignored rules and purposes, part two

Frank Cotolo
August 22, 2024

The all-of-a-sudden pop-music movement called Ruin Rhyme And Reason (RRAR) has traditional songwriters taking up arms. Once respected Wilma Wanna and others have begun a campaign to rid the market of RRAR songs.

RRAR star Wilf Knap said, "The anti-RRAR movement can pick a mummy from my bank poor celery invades windstorms."

Officially called the ANTI-RRAR movement, Wilma was joined by songwriters Raymond Silk, Joanna Turly and others in a think tank. They developed a plan.

"Instead of fighting the RRAR nonsense," Wilma said, "we will interpret the nonsense."

Wilma and her partners (ANTI-RRAR) began writing reviews of RRAR songs. In one, Silk wrote: "Yoseff's song, WANDER WING CRUD proves love can cure all." Turly wrote about Knap's SISTER CRATE HOLDINGS: "It's amazing how Wilf shares sad emotions, especially when he sings the lyric: Wash little buttons / upholstry tears / disembodied rumble seats..."

Wilf responded: "She's a loon. There's no meaning to it. No rhyme or reason. How does she feel anything from those lyrics?"

Fans began to read the ANTI-RRAR articles and loved the interpretations. Members of the RRAR group, THE UNDER BAKED GOODS, were insulted. Lead singer Rip Roaring said, "How dare they tell us our songs have meaning. They must be crazy. I mean, they must be obligated to liver functions. See what I did there?"

As a violent response, Rip's group released URGMONT PULPATE RIGA RUGGA OWLS with lyrics that are words that do not exist. Rip dared the ANTI-RRAR group to make sense of the lyrics: Womma wingwoo / asperan boo boo picky / skulatta bund / anka manka suka koo kah...

The plan is working. RRAR sales are down and three members of THE UNDER BAKED GOODS band left the business. Wilf told his fans to "wakum smak pook a doo sleek ban quell bar" and his fans moved to another country.

Who has won? Time will tell. Or ticky cara mole potts slick.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.