Column Chronicles: More mystery files released

More mystery files released

Frank Cotolo
September 12, 2024

Throughout history mankind has secretly recorded events no one can explain. These files are now public. We list some of them in no particular order for your amazement.

Mystery 74.44
A strange planet is discovered billions of miles from Earth is revealed by a super-telescope photograph to have wheels.

Mystery 567
Thousands of votes won the governor's race in Missouri for Smithammer R. Urbanity but he claimed he knew nothing about running for the position.

Mystery 804.678
A slew of slaughtered grasshoppers are delivered to a family in Amsterdam in an Amazon Prime box. The family accepts it.

Mystery 6
A photo of a member of a construction crew building the Golden Gate Bridge is seen in a photograph during work dressed like Ben Franklin.

Mystery 45986
A Super Moon is seen from Earth a remarkable six weeks in a row and is followed by the building of seventy-five Tim Hortons locations throughout Canada.

Mystery 26.66
Suddenly, all school buses in America turn the color purple.

Mystery 677.3
Sixteen former NASA male astronauts file to legally change all of their names to Fuzzy Buzzy Mainland.

Mystery 44.44
The population of Oregon proposes changing the names of every city in the state to Oregonian Sections and the proposition is passed with no objections. However, the day after the election is riddled with pitchfork violence and an endemic of Prickly Heat and no one cares about changing the names.

Mystery 111.7445
Troops fighting in Syria change uniforms with one another during a major battle.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.