Column Chronicles: The adventures of Monstrosity Man, part 28

The adventures of Monstrosity Man, part 28

Frank Cotolo
November 7, 2024

On an ordinary day in the ordinary city protected by an engorged superhero it was calm and no crime was reported as the noon hour waned. Monstrosity Man was perched on a mountainside at the edge of town and he was yawning. Billy Belittle got the attention of the grandiloquent protector and asked, "What's the skip wiser, hero?"

"What's that even mean? Skip wiser?" Monstrosity Man said.

"You're big, all right but square. It's dope for what the krip tease are you doing?"

"Really? Krip tease?"

"I'm sorry, Monstrosity Man, it's just so odd to see you bored. Sorry there's no danger that normal police can't handle so you could do your hero job."

"It's not your fault, Billy. I sometimes wonder if I were this strong and regular size if I'd be less intimidating. You know?"

"Size doesn't matter. It's the quality of criminals. It's gone down. What you need is an enemy your own size."

"Maybe I should look for one but since I cleaned up all the crime in our ordinary city I must go to another city. One ravaged by crime and without an excessively enlarged hero."

"Yuppers, that's the wheel goggle, all right," said Billy.

Monstrosity Man left his ordinary city at dusk and carefully navigated his mammoth legs towards a city far away. He stopped walking when he saw a city where the population was running helter skelter up and down streets and some of them shouted, "Can no one help us rid this ordinary city of The Grumpy Reprobate?"

"Where is he?" said Monstrosity Man and he watched as a huge crowd pointed to the north in unison.

As Monstrosity Man carefully stepped north to find The Grumpy Reprobate and pound him to smithereens someone in the crowd said to another in the crowd, "That's one big mother of a superhero."

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.