Column Chronicles: The adventures of Monstrosity Man, part 16

The adventures of Monstrosity Man, part 16

Frank Cotolo
November 14, 2024

Bad Boris Bonderlash (BBB) punched Monstrosity Man to the ground but Monstrosity Man was not down for the count - even though no one was counting.

"You think you're so friggin big, don't you," BBB said.

"Well that's where I get my name," Monstrosity Man said.

"So you are still conscious."

"Of course. You're regular size and I'm a huge. You just caught me unbalanced."

BBB reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun of some type and pointed it at Monstrosity Man. "I'm going to shoot you with this Bombastic Bullet Pistol and you'll be unbalanced for good."

Monstrosity Man leaned over to get a close look at the gun and said, "That thing? Come on, you're kidding."

"It's no joke gun. It's real and loaded with bombastic bullets?"

"Never heard of bombastic bullets and no matter how bombastic they may be they won't harm Monstrosity Man."

"Wait, you address yourself in the third person?"

"Sometimes, why?"

"That's like old man superhero crap."

"And bombastic bullets? They sound lame."

"Well they don't feel lame," BBB said and then shot rapid fire bombastic bullets at Monstrosity Man.

The bombastic bullets bounced off of Monstrosity Man and hit BBB and when the smoke cleared BBB was still standing and he said, "What the frick?"

"See," said Monstrosity Man, "nothing bombastic about those bullets buddy boy."

"Really? Alliterations? You are pathetic."

Monstrosity Man laughed and his laughter could be heard by a riverboat in the ocean and the hundred or so passengers it carried and put their hands over their ears because the laughs' volume snapped the sensitive structure in their ears called the organ of Corti and deafened them all.

Monstrosity Man did not know what happened to the passenters on the riverboat but he was through being insulted by BBB so he kicked the villain into outer space and said, "Take that."

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.