Column Chronicles: Kemo's adventures in marriage

Kemo's adventures in marriage

Frank Cotolo
November 21, 2024

My name is Kemo. I have no first or middle name and I have no proof Kemo is the family name so let's leave it at that. As I wrote in my first column my parents named me Chemistry because they swore it was the first word I said. I shortened it to Kemo.

While I was working for a company that developed medicines solely because my original name was Chemistry I met a girl I liked a lot. She studied atoms and gave them pet names like Sparky and Adam. I asked her on a date the first week she worked at the company and she said, "Kemo, I feel a positive charge when I'm with you so okay."

On the second date she told me people are alike at the core because they are all made of atoms but so is furniture. I agreed. There were other dates and she became comfortable with me and I with her and she told me some day she would like to have triplets and name them Proton, Electron and Neutron. But if she had twins she would just name them Fred and Ernie no matter their gender at birth.

We went on many dates until deciding we should be married, even though she expected friction but that might me natural. so why not make an intimate commitment? We married.

There is so much written about marriage but little explaining the atoms' roles in such a union. She decided to take notes and write a book addressing the atoms' roles in marriage.

When she finished the book she told me that researching it using our marriage made her realize that our atoms did not work well together so we should get divorced. I felt differently but respected her knowledge about atoms and though it broke my heart she left me.

I miss her.

And atoms suck.

Watch for another of my adventures soon.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.