Column Chronicles: Mr. and Mrs. Misanthrope, episode 1

Mr. and Mrs. Misanthrope, episode 1

Frank Cotolo
January 11, 2024

No one liked Mr. and Mrs. Misanthrope because Mr. and Mrs. Misanthrope (as their name is defined) liked no one. Sometimes Mr. and Mrs. Misanthrope did not like one another but since they realized not liking anyone else is what brought them together in the first place they could be forced to like one another in matrimony and dislike everyone else as a unit. As Mr. and Mrs. Misanthrope.

One day a lady came to their house not knowing Mr. and Mrs. Misanthrope disliked everyone and she smiled when Mrs. Misanthrope opened the door.

"Hello," said the lady, "I'm Lois Loo Loo and I just moved into the neighborhood."

Mrs. Misanthrope said, "We don't care, we dislike you anyway."

The lady began to cry and Mr. Misanthrope came to the door and said, "You go away now and live with anyone because we don't like them, either and don't come back here ever again in your life or in our lives."

When Lois went home she told her husband what happened. Mr. Loo Loo went to the Misanthropes house and when Mrs. Misanthrope answered he told them they were rude and Mrs. Misanthrope told him she and her husband did not like him and not because he smelled like burnt cabbage but because they did not like anyone.

Lois Loo Loo showed up again. This time she was carrying a bag of rotten pears and she took one out at a time and threw it so it smashed on Mr. and Mrs. Misanthrope's house.

"This is just one reason we don't like anyone," said Mrs. Misanthrope. "No one could like anyone who tosses rotten pears one at a time so they smash on a person's house."

Mr. Loo Loo said, "You should be ashamed how your attitude caused Lois to resort to violence with soggy fruit as her weapon."

"We don't care what our disliking everyone does to any one we dislike," said Mr. Misanthrope.

Later that day the Loo Loos met other new neighbors and all agreed that Mr. and Mrs. Misanthrope were aptly named.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.