Column Chronicles: Nick Cretin P.I.E., Yesterday, today or tomorrow

Nick Cretin P.I.E.: Yesterday, today or tomorrow

Frank Cotolo
March 28, 2024

Nick Cretin, P.I.E. (Private Investigator Extraordinaire) awoke one morning and his friend Ingmar was laid dead on Nick's office couch. Being a P.I.E. Nick's brain immediately tried to estimate the time of Ingmar's death. At that moment (when then it was now) Nick knew only one thing was certain; Ingmar's death already started and would last forever.

"Who is this?" said Elderberry.

"I can't see through the phone but I hope it's my friend Elderberry Jones," said Nick.

"Yes, it's me. What do you want?"

"How long would you say a dead body stays warm?"

"How long would I say it stays warm or exactly how long does it stay warm?"

"Let's go with an estimate."

"I haven't had coffee yet. Can I call you back?"

"Of course you can. You have a phone and you know how to use it."

As Nick hanged up the phone he realized he didn't yet wonder how Ingmar died. That seemed important because if it was not murder then it was a disease of some kind that he had before he died yesterday or today. As well, Nick realized that if Ingmar didn't die he would be alive today and would have a chance to be alive tomorrow. Yes, Nick thought, Ingmar could have been alive yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Nick sat back and relaxed and felt good because the case of Ingmar's time of death was beginning to make sense. He only hoped that Elderberry Jones called back today and not tomorrow. Then again, if he called back tomorrow it would be today then.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.