Column Chronicles: If Dadaists wrote historic news reports, part three

If Dadaists wrote historic news reports, part three

Frank Cotolo
June 19, 2025

How would important historic news reports read if written in newspapers by the art and literature movement based on deliberate irrationality and the negation of traditional artistic values? Here's a sample report: Stock Market Crash

OCTOBER 24, 1929 - New York Stock Exchange bled money today when stockholders held less stock than ever and investors lost their pants and any capital to buy new ones.

It was estimated exactly that 16 million shares were dumped on a day that began brightly but by the end of the day was called Black Thursday; black being the adjective and Thursday being the day it went black.

A crash was not expected by anyone affected by a crash that happened in New York - New York where The Bronx is up but suddenly down like The Battery in the song lyric.

What is expected to follow is a global depression around the world (hence the word global in the depression) where people will lose jobs and be unable to make money causing specific poverty among the job losers whom will find a greater love for loose change.

Economists said there was an economic warning of a crash having to do with stocks when a month ago the London stock exchange crashed but investors were on a tea break and licked their scones instead of warning every other stock exchange that their crash was a warning crash.

U.S. President FDR (pronounced Franklin Roosevelt with a D in the middle) wasted no time telling the country he was going to create a million jobs that could put people back to work because working could help them make money.

But FDR said he was sorry he could not do that globally because he was not the leader of any country other than the U.S. and no other country but the one he led would allow him to create jobs elsewhere.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.