Column Chronicles: Even more of my most accurate horoscope readings

Even more of my most accurate horoscope readings

Frank Cotolo
August 7, 2025

Most public Astrology forecasts are so general it is impossible to take them seriously. But once in a while predictions hit every note correctly. Over the years I collected my accurate horoscope predictions. Here are some in no particular order:

Dec. 7, 1976 -- Forget what you made note to remember today and practice Ping Pong seriously and you may have a chance to play world champions in this year's competitions.

March 14, 1985 -- Danger lurks in your stomach. Must be something you ate. Check your stools today. If they take the shapes of cartoon characters you must see a gastrointestinal doctor soon.

April 21, 1978 -- If you mean what you say to authorities today then be sure to tip them generously so they forget to ask you again what you mean.

May 6, 1967 -- Stop looking to match your socks when your mother loses them after wash and dry. Tell a friend they have body odor. Start planning long walks and dangerous runs through the nearby woods.

Nov. 30, 1979 -- You do not have lucky numbers. Not any day or week or month or year so stop looking for fortunes using certain digits. Take your mind off of winning things. Believe in earning your fortunes in life to become disappointed like the rest of us.

July 17, 1980 -- Don't move north. Stay where you are living and making a living without changing residences to any territory north of you. South? Maybe. But even then do not move more than 68 miles. Wait. I take that back. Don't move south at all. East? I don't have data on a move in that direction. West? That is where you live now, ninny.

Oct. 19, 1969 -- Take college seriously even if you do not believe your major will contribute to a successful future. Why? Because if you drop out you are going to Vietnam as a U.S. soldier and that area of employment promises to threaten your life.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.