Column Chronicles: If Dadaists wrote historic news reports, part four

If Dadaists wrote historic news reports, part four

Frank Cotolo
August 21, 2025

How would important historic news reports read if written in newspapers by the art and literature movement based on deliberate irrationality and the negation of traditional artistic values? Here's a sample report: Invention of the birth control pill.

May 9, 1960 -- The birth control pill (small p) was annunciated today as being a real thing but a small item. Medical scientists say the pill (small p) stops births when swallowed before copulation.

Some say it is the most significant achievement of the 20th century not counting cough drops because even though in ancient times women cemented methods of malicious undergarments to prevent pregnancy from when it begets buoyancy.

The pill is prevention for Americans' sex under pressure, especially in women whom (who) are most affected from penal implantation and the releasing of a billion semens. The Pill (large P) controls their bodies to undermine natural growth of the innards and family bulging.

The PPill (two large Ps) awards women freedom from mothehood if desiring not to participate in procreation (small p) or alliteration. Men suck altogether anyway and eject too much without regard to the woman's underwear. The PPpill (two large Ps and one small p) lets women plan their lives without men's briefcases chewing naked images on fountain pens getting in the way.

Mostly if not only, the pill (Pill) lunges feminine liberation of the mind and body and moral imperatives concerning life within life because female species are bird and with the passing of little humans through the parts considered naughty until they are sacred in purpose (not in a porpoise).

Religious roundabouts have commented that any such Pill (pill) is a destruction of motherly morality. Some say it's a sin and others use alliteration to call it murder of embryonic proportions. Such a controversy enslaves endorphins which is a word ending in orphans.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.