Column Chronicles: More weird Want Ads

More weird Want Ads

Frank Cotolo
September 4, 2025

Newspapers that once existed helped pay the bills by selling Want Ads for public perusal. There was rarely a rule as to what could be advertised for sale and even when there were rules people got away with breaking them. Here are some strange Want Ads we collected over the years.

WANTED - Nazi battle helmits. Collector needs at least a dozen for a new club he is starting in secret but not because it will be a functioning Nazi group.

WANTED - Full-time carpenter to restore and build furnature in a ten room house. Some of the work includes antiques. Worker must have an assortment of nails to secure some damaged pieces.

WANTED - Specific comic books from the 1930s. Must be in good condition and include characters with blonde hair and drooping faces and extra large feet.

WANTED - Used work gloves.

WANTED - Dart boards from old English pubs. Preferably from the Yorkshire area and especially those originally available at The Rum and Grub, Her Majesty's Pig Bottom, Shakespeare's Socks, Ye Ornary Piggy, The Stale Sufferer and Sir Highland's Greasy Hound.

WANTED - Unique printing presses, especially hand-driven to imprint upon raw sheets of talcum paper or skrim-shredded parchment. Since these presses are no lighter than 1,500 lbs we will provide vehicle to pick up.

WANTED - Berets proven to have been worn by members of The Lost Generation, vis-a-vis from the literary groups of 1920s Paris. Extra payment for any authenticated to have been worn by Ernest Hemingway as well as any female clothing he wore in private.

WANTED - Baseball bats used in any teams winning a World Series.

WANTED - Rusty dental tools.

WANTED - Typewriters. Any shape or size from any era. Broken or workable. All keys must be clearly displaying the assigned letter or punctuation. Extra prices for keys repeating a letter or odd punctuation key.

WANTED - Thumbtacks from foreign countries. All colors accepted but must be the official thumbtack size as noted in the Official Thumbtack Collector's Guide.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.