Column Chronicles: The Idiot Jury, Act One

The Idiot Jury

A play in three acts
by Frank Cotolo
September 11, 2025

ACT 1, Scene 1.

A jury room where twelve jurors are seated to talk about the case they are to decide upon.

J1 -- Did I get this correct? We all have to agree on a judgment?
J4 --Yeah, if one of us doesn't agree it ain't a decision.
J7 -- This should not be so hard. After all, the accused is guilty.
J8 -- That's not fair. We have to make a decision looking as a group.
J1 -- That's why a jury should be a Baker's Dozen.
J3 -- I'm a baker. I have a bakery on Smith and Wesson streets.
J11 -- So what's a Baker's Dozen?
J3 -- Thirteen.
J5 -- Let's start talking about the case.
J7 -- Who died and put you in charge?
J5 -- I'm the foreperson so I'm the leader.
J6 -- What that mean? Foreperson?
J5 -- By the rules the foreperson leads the others deliberating. I was the first juror called.
J6 -- Then why aren't you the firstperson?
J2 -- Can I have a line in the first act or what?
J5 -- All right, tell the others why I am the foreperson of this jury.
J2 -- She's the foreperson because the rules say she was chosen before any of us.
J5 -- No, that isn't it.

J1 -- Do you make good rye bread at your bakery?
J3 -- Seedless or with seeds?
J4 -- Rye bread comes without seeds?
J3 -- Well I'll be.
J5 -- Look, I'm fit to do this. I've been a foreperson six times.
J9 -- You sound more like you been a sixperson four times.

Laughter is had by all but J5.

J5 -- Please. We don't want to stay here any longer than we have to stay here.
J2 -- How long do we have to stay here?
J5 -- As long as it takes to decide if the defendant is guilty or not guilty.
J7 -- Then he's guilty so let's leave now.

End, Act 1.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.