Column Chronicles: The Idiot Jury, Act Two

The Idiot Jury

A play in three acts
by Frank Cotolo
September 18, 2025

ACT 2

Eleven of the twelve jurors are cackling with one another and noisy.

J5 -- Please, everyone, be quiet and let's start deliberating...
J4 -- The foreperson is right. Hey, everyone shut up.
J10 -- Really, come on. I didn't get to say one thing in the first act so listen to me now. Everyone shut up and we'll start talking about the case.

The group fades to silence.

J5 -- Thank you. Now, let's look at the evidence.
J1 -- Why don't we talk about the evidence over lunch?
J3 -- I can get someone from the bakery to deliver bread.
J5 -- Not now. We'll break for lunch at three o'clock.
J8 -- Just bread? What is this The Last Supper?
J11 -- The apostles ate more than bread at The Last Supper.
J2 -- Aside from the wine, you mean?
J11 -- Sure. I meant solids.
J5 -- They didn't eat meat, I know that.
J7 -- Duh. Of course no meat. I bet you it was fish. There could have been some left over from the Sermon on the mount.
J5 -- Hey, come on now. We have to get some discussion done before we order lunch.
J2 -- When it is time to order can we order individually or do we have to get a bunch of something to share.

J6 -- I knew someone on a jury once and he said each juror ordered what they wanted but it didn't work out. The juror that ordered chicken salad got tuna salad and the juror that ordered ravioli got tacos and the juror that ordered onion soup got a grilled cheese on rye bread...
J3 -- Seedless?
J5 -- (SHOUTS) Everyone shut up.

Everyone shuts up.

J1 -- Sheesh, I didn't think this was like being a fifth grader back in Catholic School.
J7 -- What you got against Catholics?
J1 -- Nothing, pal. It's the nuns made it bad.
J5 -- Please, please, please, can we talk about the case?
J3 -- Yes, let's talk about the case. She's right. All of you are being disprespectful to the American Justice System which only exists because brave people gave their lives so that the accused could be judged justly.
J12 -- Say, isn't Judge Justly the guy in the robe for this case?
J1 -- Woah, look who's talking? Where were you in Act 1?
J12 -- I was right here. Pensive. Calculating. Letting all you blowhards mouth off.

End, Act 2.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.