Column Chronicles: If Dadaists wrote historic news reports, part two

If Dadaists wrote historic news reports, part two

Frank Cotolo
April 10, 2025

How would important historic news reports read if written in newspapers by the art and literature movement based on deliberate irrationality and the negation of traditional artistic values? Here's a sample report: The Russian Revolution.

OCTOBER 23, 1917 - Bolsheviks gathered by the tens and some other numbers with their leader Lenin (given name withheld but it is Vladamir) to turn over the Russian government to Bolsheviks with no space left to spare and to force the Bolshevitarian ways on the poor and poorer and poorest of the population and split the profits.

This strategy worked to create the transformation of physical lives residing in all Russian areas by brilliant political repression. Events followed to beguile and batter the poor and poorer and poorest whom begged for bread and steamed rice.

The new radical government is a form of secluded Communist thought and after Lenin implemented his ideas of idealism by using scary military tactics with fists of iron the benefits became an ideal dictatorship which is an alternative to the insults of Capitalistic compulsion with its sack-of-freedom promises imposed by the silly writings of bearded Karl Marx and his brothers Crouchkin, Cheekin, Borschkin and Zepplin.

Russians should go woopie and guttersnipes are bent to increase retribution until vile events escape manufacturerers of fur hats. If prolonged, the systematic climate of a Cold War will create deep snow and make this Russian Revolution unable to digest Western democracy's version of French Toast.

Labeled as Soviet Communism it is bound to be centrifical in Moscow by suited Russian conservative white men encourged by Vodka, lots and lots of Vodka. Siberia is decided to be the home of iceburg ideaology sharing snowshoes with Siberian Collies dragging comrades from one place to another.

Lenin said, "It is for the workers and peasants to be revolting and end it all with one stroke of bayonets and the clash of ruined fortunes which divide the world to end and be destroyed." Or something like that.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.