Column Chronicles: Bad Shakespeare, part two

Bad Shakespeare, part two

Frank Cotolo
January 8, 2026

"The Bad Shakespeare [B.S.] tour continues throughout the world," said 'Hamlet' director Gigs Lupane. "This is one of the toughest plays for horrible actors to pull off."

Opening in Wiskquenton, Canada, the lead role went to Samuel Smellz who said, "I just have a knack at being a pitiful actor. Ever since I was a boy I stunk at remembering lines and understanding lines and projecting lines. Yet here I am. A star of the stage."

Critics are still to catch up with the concept of B.S. Veteran theatre reviewer Fran Gord said, "Smellz's performance literally produced an odour. It permeated every row in the audience and by act two there was vomiting."

Audiences in France are making parties out of visits to B.S. productions. "We bring cheap wine and get pissy drunk," said one fan. "I thought of watching a B.S. play on hard drugs," said another fan, "but I'm afraid I will laugh to death."

Shakespearean historian Gerald Geramyer said, "This mockery of the thespian arts will not last long. I know many Shakespearean experts doing everything they can to see it ends soon. If it does not I am afraid there will be blood."

Diehard Shakespearean scholars are being vocal about their disdain. "The Bard knew comedy and this is not comedy. It's a travesty. A pasquinade and other synonyms."

One critic wrote, "In an odd turn of events one of Shakespeare's comedies - "Much Ado About Nothing" - did not work with the B.S. treatment. The actors in the comedy performed as well as any professionals. I'm sure that's why the audience walked out after act one and the production closed before the third act."

Fifteen new productions are set to open this week and the list of producers raring to invest in more productions is growing.

"I represent the Milus Investment Group," said Biff Crankslot, "and there's tons of money already promised to B.S. productions of "Romeo And Juliet", "Julius Caesar", and two B.S. musicals which are being scored as we speak for "King Lear", "Othello" and "The Tempest."

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.