Column Chronicles: Life could emerge on Planet Sixteen

Life could emerge on Planet Sixteen

Frank Cotolo
January 15, 2026

A team of veteran astronomers are studying a newly discovered planet that may be able to produce life. They call it Planet Sixteen.

Head of the team is Dr. H. Random who said, "There were Seventeen new planets we found last year and we named them by the number in which they were found. We studied them and found the one after Planet Fifteen, which we called Planet Sixteen, may have the properties to form life as we know it or some kind as we do not recognize it but can verify it is some kind of life."

Data spanning two decades from twelve probes showed Planet Sixteen revolves around our Sun sixty-eight billion miles away. According to a researcher who almost went to the California Institute of Technology, "If the data is correct it's 20 times farther from the sun than Pluto. Our calculations, if correct, tell us that area has icy comets. Or at the least very big cold balls. Humungous balls."

"Since Planet Sixteen is so far away," said Dr. Random, "life on it will be able to withstand an extremely harsh environment. That seems obvious but you would be surprised how many people get a thing like that wrong."

Donnie Synochronia, another scientist n the project, said, "Planet Sixteen may be bigger than Uranus and I do not mean to be funny saying that. I'm just trying to describe its size and I do that by using Uranus. Again, I'm not making a joke here."

Random calls it a Super Earth, "which is larger than a Colossal Earth or a Grandiose Earth. It's the same reason why we do not call the Man of Steel comic character Grandiose Man or Colossal Man. Super says it all."

The scientists agree that proving there is life on Planet Sixteen may only be possible if that life develops well enough to send a message to Earth.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.