Column Chronicles: Tarzan and a great dark danger, part one

Tarzan and a great dark danger, part one

Frank Cotolo
June 4, 2026

Edgar Rice Burroughs' Tarzan The Ape Man attained Public Domain status in 2025. This allows me to write Tarzan adventures and not be sued. Here is the first part of my first contribution. Look for others in future blogs.

The usual blanket of three-digit heat covered the jungle upon sunrise. Tarzan The Ape Man slept through the sunrise.

"Wake up, Tarzan," said the Alpha Ape in the simian language Tarzan learned from growing up with apes. "Of all the higher primates none are as lazy as Tarzan."

Tarzan opened his eyes and saw Alpha Ape and said, "Tarzan need rest."

"Tarzan slept through a great dark danger."

"Why did Alpha Ape not wake Tarzan?"

"Because Tarzan the human would not have helped. Much."

"Stop calling Tarzan human. Tarzan as much one of the ape troop as any ape. Sure Tarzan got a lot less hair. But Tarzan never complains about being the odd ape out."

"But to sleep through a great dark danger that wakes the entire troop is human and Tarzan is..."

"Stop calling Tarzan human. Don't blame me. I mean him. Blame Jane. She wears me out from night fondling. Tarzan sleep deep."

"Jane awoke and helped."

"Where is Jane?"

Alpha Ape pointed. Tarzan saw Jane. He shouted and ran to her. "What does Jane mean showing Tarzan during a great dark danger?"

"Tarzan don't care," Jane said. "Tarzan mad that I did something about it and he didn't."

"Who didn't?"

"Tarzan."

"What?"

"Tarzan jealous."

"Tarzan awake now?"

"Tarzan better stay awake because the great dark danger coming back next night."

"Then Jane must not fondle Tarzan next night."

"Jane cannot help it. Jane is in ape heat and is drawn to hairless Tarzan."

"Tarzan and Jane will work something out to be awake when the great dark danger returns."

...to be continued.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.