Column Chronicles: Riff Shattersmith visits a UFO

Riff Shattersmith visits a UFO

Frank Cotolo
June 18, 2026

Anywhere I go on Earth, I, Riff Shattersmith, have become part of unexpected adventures. These are testimonies to such events.

In this case I, Riff Shattersmith, found myself part of an unexpected adventure anywhere but on Earth. I was strolling along a path in North Yorkshire when a beam of light shone upon me from the sky and I was transported to a room with bare silver walls and I stood in front of a being with two long slim arms and a mushroom head with wide bubble eyes.

"I am Racabulonius," the creature said, "and this is my vehicle. What do you think of it?"

"Could use some art on the walls," I said.

"You do not like bare beauty?"

"Unimaginative. Especially coming from an advanced intelligence such as yourself."

"We are superior to Earth creatures."

"I'm Riff Shattermith."

"We know. You do not have to introduce yourself. We are superior to Earth creatures."

"I'll be sure to pass that on."

"But not in the immediate future."

"You won't let me go now?"

"There is no now. Time does not matter to us."

"I have a dentist appointment today Rabadaba."

"I am Racabulonius."

There was no reason to converse with it. I gave Rababooboo a kick where a human knee would be on his body and he fell over like a cheap lamp. I jumped through a portal at the edge of the room and began a free fall down a smooth tube and I landed feet first on the path I walked before Rabadingdong's light put me in his vehicle. Then I heard his voice.

"We are superior to Earth creatures. I am Racabulonius," he repeated as his vehicle disappeared into the sky.

I continued my stroll. I wondered about Rabbaboon and the UFO and felt inner peace. But I could not believe he was superior to Earth creatures. For me he was just another space alien dumbbell.

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.