Frank Cotolo
February 19, 2010

 

LIN DI LOO, Cambodia - While following Angelina Jolie to secure an appearance on Cotolo Chronicles, reporters learned that Cambodia's king has declared actress Angelina Jolie Queen of Cambodia for her conservation work in the poverty-stricken country.

 

King Norodom Sihamoni signed a royal decree making the Oscar-winning starlet and daughter of John Voight, queen, said an official of the government who owns five Rolls Royces. "She will parade before the starving people and give them money for food as often as she wants," he said.

 

Jolie gave a Cambodian development group $1.5 million for its environmental protection efforts in remote parts of the country.

 

"That will help to build tables and chairs for the poor people to sit when they eat," said a Jolie spokesperson who owns two houses in Los Angeles, one which she rents for $15,000 a month. "Now all we have to do it get food to put on the tables."

 

The king asked the new queen if she could get Mel Gibson to buy millions of ham sandwiches that might be given to the poor population.

 

And, he said, "Maybe dat boyfriend Pitt and udder men you loved, like Billy Joe, could bring over soup and spoons, anything that will help my hungry people."

 

During Jolie's most recent visit to Cambodia, Prime Minister Hun Sen had asked if she would like to be queen in recognition of her generosity.

 

"I would be honored, I think. I would certainly be thrilled as well as honored as well as thrillingly honored and honorably thrilled," she told reporters. "I am so comfortable in a country where the peoples' lips are as large as mine."

 

The Cambodian Vision in Development's director expressed delight over the news. "I will drink her bathwater for the honor of her being my queen and I know she will get hundreds of Hollywood peoples to bring money and food and expensive medical things here so that the king and me and others in the government do not have to give up our cars and jewels and foreign bank accounts. This is what we have dreamed for her for a long time."