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Frank Cotolo
December 18, 2010 |
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Cotolo Chronicles researchers recently reported on a survey that other
surveys indicate will affect everyone in every culture on the planet. This
remarkable statement was further strengthened when another survey confirmed
what the survey about the survey revealed.
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The first survey was conducted over a period of nine years, using over a
million people from different places on Earth. It was said to be the largest
survey ever conducted about affecting the entire human race (most other
global-oriented surveys ignore people living in Ireland).
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The unique survey was funded by the Survey Funding Institute, an institute
privately supported by money donated to it from wealthy individuals (most who
have never bounced a check).
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The results of the study were revealed at a fully catered press conference in
Zurich in late November. Among the tables filled with deviled eggs,
bacon-covered liver, fruit pieces, ravioli and other delicately prepared
morsels from the Top Bag Catering Company and Traveling Circus, were booklets
covering the details of the study's results.
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Hosting the presentation was J. Dire Corepundit, a well-respected host who was
hired for the event by the Event Hiring Conglomerate of Former Education, which
also owns the Fandango Cupcake Company, Styles Fake Butter Products and runs
the Greatly Misunderstood Family Counseling Group.
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"I welcome all of you to this punctual event," Mr. Corepundit said before he
said anything else. "There was a time when the Institute was unsure if this
moment would come, since three members of the board were indicted for public
chicanery. However here we are with the results of the century, a survey that
impresses upon every one in the human race that hope is not only eternal, it
never ends..."
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A panel of three to seven who worked closely on calculating the survey's
results each took the podium but were forced to bring it back and talk about
their experience in front of the invited guests.
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Jason Marsdenworthy, a participant in the project from the onset, said to the
crowd, "no matter what you think about our attire this evening it is essential
you recline to the impact of this study's results."
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