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Frank Cotolo
January 5, 2010 |
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Cotolo Chronicles has a few announcements to make for the year 2010. Now
that the year has arrived it seems only fitting that 2010 announcements should be
made. Please note these are not resolutions, as the concept of New Year's
resolutions is deemed useless and unfair to certain age groups. Also, our
announcements should not be taken with more than a grain of salt or a tongue in
a cheek, we seek only to announce, not to be held accountable for the action.
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Announcement #1:
Our program will have no further association with any public event that does not
serve cake.
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Announcement #2:
We will accept all donations for expenses that are rendered while program
rendering is in progress. Donations can come in any form of money or objects
that can be safely hurled into the air and fall unharmed.
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Announcement #3:
At no time during the year 2010 will any program
indicate "somebody up there likes me."
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Announcement #4:
Our program can be translated into any language by
anyone speaking that language. Any attempt to translate our show into a language
unknown by the translator can result in a third-party lawsuit.
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Announcement #5:
Announcement #4 is suspect.
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Announcement #6:
If you do not replenish your precious bodily fluids
while you listen to any portion of any episode of our program and fall ill
because of it, we assume no responsibility.
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Announcement #7:
The rain in Spain does not always fall mainly on the plains.
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Announcement #8:
The man whose name adorns the title of our program
reserves the right to change his name at any given time while speaking on the
program. The same goes for his signature and certain gesticulations.
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