Column Chronicles
 
The wonder of A-D-D
 
 
Frank Cotolo
July 15, 2013
 
Have you ever started to wonder about things and then wonder what you were wondering about in the first place? This is the kind of thing that sends some people to the doctor, where they wonder if the doctor is wondering about them or his yacht.
 
Wondering used to be a pastime that did not lead to wondering if wondering is a symptom of some malady. In the times we live, the wondering mind is associated with the conditions known as Attention Deficit Disorder (A-D-D). Pronouncing the acronym has become the norm when talking about the condition, though no one speaks the hyphens (A hyphen D hyphen D).
 
I don't know why we don't just say the word "add" instead of pronouncing the acronym, since when we speak of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome we say the word "aids" and we don't pronounce the letters A-I-D and S. Perhaps it is because I have A-D-D that I cannot understand why we use a word for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome but only the acronym for Attention Deficit Disorder?
 
Again, this is something I wonder and such wondering can make one wonder more and more. As a verb, "wonder" means to think or speculate curiously. There is no indication in the definition that curiously speculating at any length or complexity leads to A-D-D. In fact, history insists that much curious speculation is responsible for great discoveries. One must wonder if the state of wondering led to discovering A-D-D. If that is the case then there is an incestuous relationship between the disorder and the function describing the disorder, which defies the definition of both.
 
Doesn't that make you wonder?
 
Also as a verb, "wonder" means "to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe; marvel". Is it safe to assume, then, that when one is filled with all those feelings then may be engaging in the function of a mental disorder? Come to think of it, is it safe to assume anything? And why isn't there an Assume Deficit Disorder? Is it because that condition would also spell A-D-D and people would wonder which is which?
 
Reactions to assumptions can make one wonder if one is neurotic. Some doctors feel neurosis is "a relatively mild personality disorder typified by excessive anxiety or indecision and a degree of social or interpersonal maladjustment". I wonder why neurosis is not just called "N", using the letter (though when speaking the letter it is impossible to know whether a person means to designate an upper- or lower-case letter).
 
Of course, if you don't have A-D-D, you may have the version called A-D-H-D, which is not pronounced "addhead" [sic], but is also spoken by using the acronym. Perhaps neither of these disorders are pronounced as the words that the first letters of their names create because it would be stupid to call a person who had A-D-D someone with "add". Because, if you have A-D-D you would not be able to add, since your attention would not allow you to complete the process, it needing focusing (as the past sentence, ridden with bad grammar, proves). So, to call you and addhead would also be dumb.
 
My doctor recently told me I did not have A-D-D but he refused to tell me why the disorder was not simply pronounced "add". Then, he weighed me and showed me the door.
 
I wonder what he meant by that gesture?
 
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.

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