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Frank Cotolo
October 31, 2013 |
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Recently, the concept of time travel has become a topic for physicists, scientists and other
braincases like me. It seems that due to some theories in quantum gravity, the paradoxes of time
travel are being addressed seriously.
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There are so many problems with the idea that it creates many discussions, though some of them make
you want to travel to a time when there were no such discussions. At a meeting of the minds I
attended last week at the University of Texas at Austin, we brought up new paradoxical situations
for the subject.
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Professor Dixon Pipe, for instance, said, "What if an inventor tried to build a time machine,
failed and then was told by a older man how to build a time machine, would it work?"
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I said, "If the older man revealed that he used parts bought from Home Depot, then it wouldn't
work."
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There was much applause.
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Then, Dr. Rita Peter said, "Jane almost dies giving birth to a girl. Doctors find that Jane has
both male and female sex organs. So, to save her life, they convert Jane to Jim, who goes back in
time and marries a girl named Jane who gets lost in the jungle and falls in love with a man raised
by apes. What happened to the girl Jane birthed?"
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After a few beats of silence, Dr. Ivory Snore said, "Adoption".
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There was much applause.
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Someone brought up that Isaac Newton thought time was like an arrow (after he realized it was not
like a fig); it flew in a straight line.
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Then someone else said that Einstein gave us a more detailed analogy of time as an arrow, using
William Tell as the archer.
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I reminded everyone that Copernicus said time was like a river; it swayed through galaxies in
three-quarter time. This theory caused what is known as "The Waltz-to-Waltz Exponent."
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