|
| |
Frank Cotolo
March 6, 2014 |
| |
|
Recently, I was asked to talk at the funeral of a special collegue, an inspiration to me in many
fields of endeavor. Here is the text:
|
| |
|
It finally happened. Elmore Tifford Caliboro, or as he was known, Caliboro, died.
|
| |
|
Those of us who knew him and none of the people who did not know him thought we would all be gonners
before Caliboro, since his life was such a gamble, so tenuous and on the brink of disaster every
moment. However, he went first and we are all shocked.
|
| |
|
We thought he had more lives than a cat; many more, maybe seven more. He seemed invincible and
indestructable, if not either. He was fearless, except for Mondays, when he was so scared he would
not leave the house. He called me many a Monday, his voice always raspy and I could hear he was
sweating.
|
| |
|
Then on Tuesdays he would be ready to go into action the rest of the week and all of you know that
his actions spoke louder than his words, which were few but still, even a lot of words would not
have equaled his actions. Because each of his actions threatened his life. It's what made Caliboro
rich.
|
| |
|
It is also the reason that the city built, named and dedicated a major thruway to him. The Caliboro
Thruway is a legacy Caliboro would be proud to know is his. It runs north in one direction, south
in the opposite direction, east on one side and west on the other. It mimicks the vast scope of his
actions, which were here, there and everywhere, while at the same time directed with dead accuracy
- if you will excuse using the word "dead" right now.
|
| |
|
The Caliboro Cheese Company would never have become a major success across this nation were it not
for Caliboro. Though it was started by his father, the patriarch Caliboro, it was kept in the
family. Though the patriarch Caliboro's body was never found, Caliboro took over operations and
within a year branched out the enterprise with sub-divisions. That was amazing in itself, since
Caliboro could not even do long division.
|
| |
|
Caliboro is survived by many sons, not all of them his own sons, since he took stray children into
his home regularly. Though charges were brought up against him at first, it was quickly established
that he was being a benefactor when the judge handling the case was found hanged in a K-Mart public
restroom.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Family was important to Caliboro. Nothing speaks best about that than does the Caliboro Kids
Foundation, which, after five years of success as a home for wayward boys, now accepts girls.
Caliboro's wife of fifteen years, known only as Mrs. Caliboro, runs the foundation, as well as ten
gyms around town. She recently won the National Arm Wrestling Championship.
|
| |
|
Personally, I had no use for Caliboro but he showed up to play poker at an undisclosed location
every week and I was there along with Mel, Joe, Pete and Stinky, and we never let him win. All in
all, I am proud to stand here and address all of you, though I do not know all of your addresses,
and pledge that the Caliboro name will never die, not in the hearts of us all and nor in the heart
of this city, which owes him a great debt that is not legally bound after death.
|
| |
|
Goodbye Caliboro.
|
| |
| Frank
Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme
Cotolo
Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address:
frank@148.ca.
|
|
|
