Column Chronicles
 
Cataclysm for U.S. cash predicted
 
 
Frank Cotolo
January 9, 2014
 
A couple of guys, Lindsey Williams and Barry Meyer, are predicting a total collapse of the American economy. The pair has documented signs that the destructive crash is moving at a quick pace and could fall into total disarray even before ABC cancels "The Goldbergs" or very shortly afterwards.
 
Both men agree that three circumstances in the financial world have to occur before ultimate collapse. "These are complicated situations that most common Americans cannot expect to understand," said one economist reviewing the prediction, "so most people are not concerned and those who are worried subscribe to Glen Beck's online programs."
 
Williams and Meyer - who often argue which name should come first when mentioning them both in the same breath or a breath apart from a sigh or cough - so not see the collapse as part of a worldwide event, simply the end of the United States participation in the global economy, as well as igniting a major depletion of canned goods in groceries.
 
Emma Sidegrip, a British economist, said, "The U.S. dollar has been shrinking quickly, even as obesity increases in that country."
 
Meyer and Williams expert, Fern Wicklope, whose book "I Met Meyer and Williams on a Cruise to the Caribbean" has raised eyebrows, said, "When the money goes sour, as the saying goes, but the saying doesn't go sour, just the money. Anyway, with no money and the inability to borrow money, the United States will be broke. That goes without saying, though I said it because it sounds like it could never happen. Yet, Williams and Meyer have thoroughly employed actual circumstances that will provoke going broke. I use other clever rhymes like that in my book, so please buy it while your money is still worth anything."
 
Without being financially savvy, one could predict more than the three situations leading to a financial collapse of America. We asked economists and people who claimed to be economists and people who found economics a fun hobby to come up with devastating circumstances. Here are those results.
 
"If the Fed were to begin printing more money than it has paper to print the money, there would be nothing to print money upon."
 
"If the President showed up for a press conference and made his pockets turn inside out, revealing there were no bills or change in them, we would surely know the end was here."
 
"When a flock of pigeons, and I don't know how many pigeons make up a flock so let's just say a lot of pigeons or a lot of flocks of pigeons swoop down on Wall Street and begin to crap incessantly on the steps of financial institutions to the point where walking down the steps is impossible unless the stairs are power-hosed, the economy will be in disrepair."
 
"There will come a point or two points or a few moments or a half-hour, tops, when the Secretary of the Treasury gives a speech that recommends all American citizens rush to stores and spend their last dimes because by sunset the Treasury was closing for good and every employee will be taking stationary home."
 
The end of the U.S. dollar's value may or may not come as Williams and Meyer predict but almost everyone agrees that without any money, people will have no way of buying anything and even the Black Market will fold.
 
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.

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