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Frank Cotolo
February 20, 2014 |
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In one of many public appearances I continue to make in this career of mine that is yet to be
categorized in the annals of careers, I went to Fairfax, Virginia to speak with a group of members
of the National Rifle Association (NRA). As expected, they set up a deis for me at the National
Firearms Museum for my presentation. Soon after I insisted they place seats in front of the deis
and they did so, I spoke to a spirited group of people who love guns of all sizes. Below is a
transcript of the speech I delivered just after hor d'oerves and coffee.
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Good afternoon firearms fans. As you know, I was invited here today to speak to you and because of
me you are sitting in folded chairs and not on the floor. No need to applaud. Hold your applause
for later or else you may not hear much, considering most of what I say should provoke applause and
hopefully no louder noises, like gunshots. In fact, please turn off your cell phones and do not
cock your weapons. I know that sounds dirty but we are men with firearms and that's just the way we
think.
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The history of this museum is rich and thick and loaded - excuse the term - with the greatest
collections of guns this country has produced. Many people who are against owning guns, no less
using them on small animals and people trying to climb over border fences, should spend time here
just to understand that one pop from any of these babies and a man feels like a man, even moreso,
he feels like a patriot. But this also goes for girls. They can understand all of this with a visit,
also, and they could feel like a man or a patriot or both.
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This is also a great place for shooting. The ranges here are organized and although it is still
damned loud we like it that way. Again, please hold your applause. Before I got the chairs set up
for this speech I was in three shooting ranges. Once I convinced the others in the ranges that I
was not a viable target I picked up a musket that dated back to the American Revolution. It felt
like victory and freedom. It made me realize that firearms were tools of our country's founding
and when I got the hammer stuck in the web of my hand I realized the progress that gun manufacturers
have made over the century.
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These walls are steeped in history, though I would have added another layer of dry wall in between
the main beams, but none of the history laden in the iron hand canons are more impressive than the
only surviving Pilgrim firearm. It belongs to John Arken or Arlen or Alden or someone with a name
like that and he carried this rifle on the Mayflower in sixteen-twenty while sailing to Plymouth
Rock.
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Rememer that Arkwold had no idea what he would see when the ship landed and could not imagine
any like an automobile, no less one that would bear the name of the rock where the ship landed.
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Arkman held his rifle proudly as the Mayflower floated to the free world, a new place for religious
freedom, prayer, love, and of course, shooting things. Ackmard used his rifle to help protest his
Pilgrim buddies when he joined the Mitlitia run by Captain Miles Standish. Those rascal natives who
tried to take corn from the stalks the Pilgrims grew had nothing to match the power and puncturing
potential of the rifle. And when Alfred built his home in Duxbury, he made sure it would last more
than a hundred years by using his firearm on any living creature that came within thirty yards,
sometimes fifty.
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So I remind all of you to remember Duxbury Algrand, the man whose Pilgrim firearm symbolizes our
need for bigger and more powerful weapons, our right by the Constitution and our passion by
heritage. And now, you can use all the applause you have been holding and I thank you.
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Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme
Cotolo
Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address:
frank@148.ca.
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