Column Chronicles
 
A visit from the Pope
 
 
Frank Cotolo
May 15, 2014
 
The other day there was a knock on my front door. When I opened the door to see who was there I almost fainted. I mean, who expects the Pope to come to your house, right?
 
"Pope Frank," I said.
 
"Francis," the Pope said.
 
"You can call me Frank, too, Pope."
 
"No, I mean to say I don't go by the name of Frank, it's Francis."
 
"Well whatever," I said with a smile, "come on in. I was just putting on a pot of coffee. Do Popes drink coffee?"
 
"Some do, some don't."
 
"Do you want tea?"
 
"I don't want a beverage," he said, sitting down in my small dining room. "I want to tell you about the Catholic church."
 
"Yeah, but in person? I'm impressed. Wait, is this a random visit or did you really come to see me?"
 
"I came to see you. We do research at the Vatican and choose people to visit. Others we just phone."
 
I offered him some potato chips from a bag I had opened earlier. He refused and motioned for me to sit down next to him.
 
"So why me?" I said.
 
"You are a communicator, you have a gift, you speak from your heart."
 
"We are alike in those ways. But you have a great message. I got nothin'."
 
"Not so. Our messages are similar. When you tell people to wake up because it is night, I applaud. That is what I am saying, just not in the same way."
 
"But you can say what you say in many languages. I got nothin'."
 
What a great time I had the rest of the day with the Pope. I never thought he would stay all day but he did. We went into the backyard and tossed the football around, played a quick game of Risk (he defeated me quickly) and he showed me how to stop the faucet from dripping. He made me feel well and he never once pushed me to be religious. When his ride showed up I hugged him and he whispered in my ear that I could call him Frank whenever we were alone. I smiled and waved goodbye as he got into a cheap sedan.
 
I really like the new Pope. You should hope he drops by your house one day.
 
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.

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