Column Chronicles
 
The man who found Bigfoot
 
 
Frank Cotolo
August 14, 2014
 
The legend of a wooly beast that roams the Pacific Northwest remains a legend because in this world of advanced technology, for some odd reason, no one has produced an ounce of evidence it exists. Sasquatch or Bigfoot manages to elude all hunters, leaving only inadmissible evidence of his existence behind.
 
But there is one man who claims to have had contact with the man-beast. This man does not seek fame or publicity about his encounter. This man spoke to me under the umbrella of anonymity due to the nature of his experience. This man, who we will call Delaney, lives in Washington, miles from Seattle traffic and deep into the terrain of the state that still looks prehistoric.
 
"When did you come into contact with Sasquatch?" I said.
 
"Don't call him that," Delaney fired. "He hates that name. And don’t call him Bigfoot either. He is a size eight, though his instep is wide."
 
"Were you looking for him?"
 
"No. He came to me. I'd just put the finishing touches on my log cabin roof and came inside for dinner when he knocked on the door."
 
"He knocked on the door?"
 
"Yes. You thought he crashed through it, I bet. Well he didn’t do any such thing. He’s polite and considerate."
 
"You mean he has human intelligence?"
 
"Smarts, yes. He has the vocabulary of a learned man and as much hair as he has I could swear I saw men with more in YMCA bath houses."
 
"So you let him in and then what happened?" I asked with enthusiasm.
 
"He wanted to borrow some sugar, so I let him in and once he was in I asked him to stay for dinner. I didn't mind how he smelled because anyone wandering those woods smelled like that, even if they used Old Spice to shave."
 
"What did you two talk about?"
 
"He told me how tired he had become tired of being hunted. He said it restricted him from walking freely around his neighborhood, you know, the woods. He said he isn't hiding; he’s just living his life like a man-beast lives and wants some peace. He’s not a social man-beast, you know? He worries about hunters with powerful weapons, the kind of guys that would kill him to prove he exists."
 
"This is remarkable and I want to know everything about the meeting," I said to Delaney, "but why are you being so secretive about all this?"
 
"He said if I disclosed his whereabouts he would come back and tear me limb from limb, eat my innards and leave the bones for the coyotes."
 
The remainder of this interview has been deleted.
 
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.

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