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Frank Cotolo
April 17, 2014 |
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My love for spiders is a deep and untraceable. My earliest memory of being fascinated by spiders
was watching a long-legged creature cross over my diapers and continue to walk swiftly until it
stopped at my breast. I was seventeen years old.
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Then, after reading many books about them, it became my obsession to understand them. I still don't
know how I could have read so many books and still not have understood them, so I read more books
and I studied pictures of the thousands of spider species. There were so many species that I lost
count of the names after the list that began with "A". I looked into college courses on spiders but
I was told I had to finish grade school first or at least be able to list the species of spiders
past the letter "M".
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Then one day my penchant for arachnids caused an epiphany. I imagined that spiders can see
ultraviolet light.
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This was a radical thought about spiders. Few of my colleagues took it seriously because, they
said, "A guy can't hit it off with a woman by asking her if she thinks spiders see ultraviolet
light." True, but even the time I went to see members of The International Society of Arachnology I
was mocked. One member said to me, "Why don't you go swimming in your own saliva, you pork-fat
brainless baboon." And that is very unlike a member of any society.
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But now there is evidence that spiders can see ultraviolet light. It was reported in a Portuguese
journal about spiders and people are recalling that I talked about it months before any publication
on the topic.
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An organizer of the International Congress of Arachnology asked me to appear at the ICA's next
session. Since the invitation, I learned a few Portuguese sentences that may help me. For instance,
I can say, "Quer que tente novamente mais tarde?" That means, "Do you want me to try again later?"
That may not help my address to the group but it could help if I pick up a Brazilian girl.
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I intend to tell the people attending the congress that I always knew male jumping spiders had
great eyesight, especially when they were jumping female spiders, though I personally cannot
distinguish them). This, I always felt, was proof alone that they possessed ultraviolet vision. But
what did I know?
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