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Frank Cotolo
3 Aug, 2009 |
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People at business meetings rarely pay attention. It is a simple fact of human
nature. No matter how involved a person becomes with his or her job, the rule
of thumb, as well as the rule of index finger and sometimes pinky, is to allow
the mind to stray from any and all topics being addressed.
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At the staff meetings for Cotolo Chronicles, it is no different. Mostly,
no matter how involved a person becomes with his or her job, the rule of thumb,
as well as the rule of index finger and sometimes pinky, is to allow the mind
to stray from any and all topics being addressed. The difference between the
business of Cotolo Chronicles and all other businesses is that Fat
Tuesday Productions, the parent and sometimes bastard-child company of the
show, encourages the behavior.
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It has been labeled CADS, from Conscious Attention Deficit Syndrome. CADS is a
spin off of Neo-Post Modernism, where the brain is allowed to flow freely,
hopefully working at more than its standard 3-percent rate.
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Dr. Phineas Lineus studied the behavior of Cotolo Chronicles' staff
meeting members at more than 38 meetings over the past week. He said, "Members
of these staff meetings have shown a remarkable ability to think most
unproductively and yet none of them retained water."
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A famous company that refused to be identified commissioned Dr. Lineus. The
company wants to know how it can make unproductive people worthy of salaries,
not counting Chief Executive Officers, which are not worth their salaries 99
percent of the time. Dr. Lineus, who swears he is Greek, sits in an undisclosed
area of the room where the Cotolo Chronicles meetings take place. He takes notes
and then grills the meeting members later in their personal offices, many of
which lack proper lighting.
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"I have found something in common with all of the people who have CADS," he said
while combing his bushy eyebrows. "All of them doodle while the moderator of the
meeting talks. However, none of them use paper; they doodle on available body
skin."
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CADS is becoming a popular subject in the study of human consciousness,
according to Dr. Lineus, who drives an ambulance to avoid getting stuck in
traffic. "The whole nature of concentration in the human brain is going to
change soon, as more and more research is done on CADS. Also, paper airplanes
need proper folding in order to glide."
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