Fluidly speaking
 
 
Frank Cotolo
9 Mar, 2009
 
Health has always been a big theme on Cotolo Chronicles. Our emphasis on listeners replenishing their precious bodily fluids during the broadcast is a serious request and suggestion.
 
Your bodily fluids are, in fact, what makes up most of you. The body itself, say scientists, is eighty-percent water. Or is that the Earth? The Earth is two-thirds water. But two-thirds is not eighty percent so someone has their math incorrect. And yet both the people who say those things are scientists. You would think they would agree.
 
In any event, in all events and certainly in this event, the need for fluids is the greatest need. Without them, you can die. Don't believe me, read what a famous fluidtition [sic] said: "A body without fluids is a body not flowing, unable to bend and wallow, to think or swallow or to fly to Capistrano."
 
In every religious text, water plays an important role, especially when the text explains how life began. In the Garden of Eden and all the similar gardens from texts other than the Bible, a great deity provides the Earth with oceans and seas and rain to keep them filled. And the great deity always commands: "Drink and fill ye stomach with that which makes your blood alive." Or something like that.
 
Your health is more important to us at Cotolo Chronicles than anything. We know that if you are fluid and flowing, you will be attentive and awake and absorb all you need to absorb from the contents of the show. But more than that, we don't want you falling over dead, even if you never listen to our show again. We want you to live long naturally, without the use of medicines, stimulants or narcotics.
 
We want you to be able to drive your car, pilot your plane and arm-wrestle your loved one with full strength and awareness.
 
A little bit of history...
 
From the start of our program, years ago when many people would not dare listen to broadcasts on the Internet, we always insisted listeners replenish their precious bodily fluids, trusting that each body would dismiss the bad elements of the fluids and absorb the vitamins, minerals and whatever other great stuff is there. We knew even back then that no matter how popular the Internet became, this Information Super Highway would be nothing if people were dropping dead left and right from dehydration. Call it foresight.
 
We don't portend or pretend to be health specialists; we would never tell you what to do about your heart, kidneys, liver, esophagus or any other organ or muscle that is working to keep you alive. But we know that all of those internal elements wouldn't be worth the paper in which you could wrap them if sufficient liquids did not participate in your body functions.
 
So don't take it lightly. Replenish your precious bodily fluids. You will think more clearly, see more clearly, run faster, jump higher and swallow without pain; as well as you will live longer and longer until you are the oldest person on Earth.
 
Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.
   
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