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Michele on my mind
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Frank Cotolo
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The biggest problem I have these days when it comes to politics is my desire
for Rep. Michele Bachmann. I think she is quite a woman, a good looker who is
not afraid to display her feminine qualities with fine makeup and clothing. She
is a handsome woman and beautiful if the lighting is just right. When she speaks
in public she uses her hands like an orchestra leader conducting some great
musical piece.
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However, her politics are not my cup of tea, if I may turn a phrase.
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"I'm a strong, unashamed, unapologetic, conservative activist of the free
market," she always says when I dream of her giving me a long passionate kiss
from those lovely lips.
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"Yes," I would say, "but doesn't that kiss make you want to run away with me so
that we could dance naked in the Himalayas and hunt the Yeti?"
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In my dreams she avers and then we are clothed only in heavy parkas from J.
Crew, making out on a steamboat headed for the tundra. All along the way, with
my tongue in her ear, I am whispering, "You are so much sexier than Sarah."
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Yes, of course I mean Sarah Palin. I am so happy I do not have a crush on her
because she is mincemeat compared to Michele. In a beauty contest judged by men
who have been at war and without a woman for years, Michele would win. I know
this is so.
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But popular opinion seems to disagree and Sarah always pins the hot meter, so
to speak. I don't get it, really, and I want you to see it my way to appreciate
Michele Bachmann. So I want you to imagine a few things that may open your eyes
to her beauty and make you realize once and for all that Sarah Palin is
second-rate centerfold material compared to Michele.
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First, imagine Newt Gingrich tied to a lawn chair and dancing around him is a
lovely Native American squaw. Now put the face of Michele Bachmann on the squaw,
only her face looks airbrushed and her lips are painted like a ladyboy from
Thailand. See what happens to Newt? That would never happen if Sarah were the
squaw.
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Next, make a cup of scalding hot tea and rest it between your legs. Think of
Michele and the tea begins to bubble. Think of Sarah and the beverage starts
to become cool.
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Frank
Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme
Cotolo
Chronicles. |
