Column Chronicles: The restless problem with space dust and the existing universe

The restless problem with space dust and the existing universe

Frank Cotolo
October 22, 2026

The stuff NASA calls "space dust" is too small to see with the naked eye or an eye properly dressed. The dust helps forming the stars and with enough dust can form a planet.

"We don't need any new planets, though," said astro scientist Remy Foregone. "There are enough planets around the cosmos."

The problem arising is that there is now too much space dust.

"Space dust will keep trying to form planets even though there is not enough room for them," Foregone said. "We have an entire squade of astro specialists trying to figure out how to stop space dust from making even the smallest planet."

The international group of astronomers and astrochemists are ready for years of research to resolve the problem.

"Even though the universe is expanding," said astro specialist W.R.T. Scrambuster, "the ratio of space dust to the remaining space in our universe - even calculating and including the expansion of the universe - is one big math problem on its own."

Suggestions about removing some of the space dust present other complicated issues. "What do we do? Sent up a super duper vacuum cleaner space vehicle to suck up space dust? Sure we can build one of them but where are we going to dump the sucked up space dust?"

One design for a super duper vacuum cleaner space vehicle has been designed on paper by the NASA rocketship art department led by Theus Adrasadalius. He recently said, "This design's actual dimensions are so wide and high and thick and long that it would take sixty trillion gallons of rocket fuel to get it off the ground - if it doesn't blow up which is always a possibility."

An explosion of that size, according to Scrambuster, "puts the whole state of Florida in jeopardy of destruction. Millions could be killed and hundreds of millions injured. And of course the super duper vacuum cleaner space vehicle would be inoperable."

Frank Cotolo can be found hosting the talk and interview programme Cotolo Chronicles. You can send him an e-mail at this address: frank@148.ca.